So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
