out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
