I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
