It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
