R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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