i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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