We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
