Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
