Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
