that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
