And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
People in love make me want to vomit
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
