U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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