I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize