I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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