I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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