New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize