dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
