i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
