Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize