Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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