ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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