margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
