You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i drank out of a bidet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
