i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
