What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
