Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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