if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
