best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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