Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
