Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
