Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
