Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
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Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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