Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize