we made out on top of his cat.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
