I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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