it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
