I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
