i would punch a child for taco bell
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Randomize
