You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
