You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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