I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
