The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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