pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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