Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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