the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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