Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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