Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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