oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
