Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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