He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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