My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
