hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
