so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
