What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
