I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
