stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
