so explain again why im purple
no
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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