Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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