Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
