awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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