It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize