I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
