dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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