Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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