why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a