Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do ugly people know they are ugly?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  The quiet ones do.

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  (202): Do ugly people know they are ugly? (1-202): The quiet ones do. http://tfl.nu/129a
  Replies (25) Good night (2340) Bad night (2557)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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  (218): I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted. http://tfl.nu/x30k
  Replies (12) Good night (3996) Bad night (763)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.

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  (540): i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low. http://tfl.nu/0dri
  Replies (14) Good night (945) Bad night (3834)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

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  (702): I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like. http://tfl.nu/ss9l
  Replies (23) Good night (4617) Bad night (1527)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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  (817): New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft. http://tfl.nu/mqah
  Replies (13) Good night (4564) Bad night (1173)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1218) Bad night (3323)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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  (484): Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved. http://tfl.nu/qswh
  Replies (7) Good night (3954) Bad night (1399)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...

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  (705): just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer... http://tfl.nu/qk4d
  Replies (6) Good night (2007) Bad night (1113)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (934)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.

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  (614): They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart. http://tfl.nu/irli
  Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (568)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

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  (248): So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night http://tfl.nu/96c5
  Replies (5) Good night (394) Bad night (877)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.

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  (412): Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time. http://tfl.nu/jc31
  Replies (1) Good night (1129) Bad night (410)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here

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  (618): Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here http://tfl.nu/y9wz
  Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (359)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.

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  (785): Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips. http://tfl.nu/pwq4
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (813)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?

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  (651): Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder? http://tfl.nu/8sji
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (569)

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