My friends, they love my intelligence
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol