Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

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(847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers. http://tfl.nu/run3

Replies (19) Good night (6075) Bad night (1789)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

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(503): Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality. http://tfl.nu/vr2w

Replies (13) Good night (4288) Bad night (1218)
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(360): View more from Washington

Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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(360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2

Replies (23) Good night (6640) Bad night (860)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell

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(919): You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell http://tfl.nu/8yas

Replies (4) Good night (2614) Bad night (939)
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(440): View more from Ohio

She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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(440): She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat. http://tfl.nu/5t46

Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (870)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Internet Is back!

(860): View more from Connecticut

MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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(860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg

Replies (7) Good night (885) Bad night (1181)
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(713): View more from Texas

He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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(713): He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk http://tfl.nu/6kdn

Replies (7) Good night (1491) Bad night (595)
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(205): View more from Alabama

In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

(205): View more from Alabama

But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

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(205): In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure. (205): But happy liver failure. That's what counts. http://tfl.nu/m2wy

Replies (3) Good night (1529) Bad night (649)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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(847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d

Replies (14) Good night (1778) Bad night (572)
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(602): View more from Arizona

The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.

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(602): The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier. http://tfl.nu/l0xp

Replies (3) Good night (1045) Bad night (467)
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(210): View more from Texas

Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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(210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi

Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (397)
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(519): View more from Ontario

My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.

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(519): My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit. http://tfl.nu/1j6h

Replies (0) Good night (161) Bad night (782)
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(440): View more from Ohio

If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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(440): If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands http://tfl.nu/oo81

Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (211)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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(802): I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower. http://tfl.nu/ep1t

Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (292)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.

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(320): It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus. http://tfl.nu/y9c1

Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (166)

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