Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle