Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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  (561): Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir! http://tfl.nu/b2ab
  Replies (18) Good night (2819) Bad night (666)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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  (423): Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately. http://tfl.nu/vgak
  Replies (18) Good night (2243) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

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  (727): My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo http://tfl.nu/tgva
  Replies (38) Good night (897) Bad night (4746)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.

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  (513): She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before. http://tfl.nu/zkf3
  Replies (53) Good night (8746) Bad night (1015)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples

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  (+41): I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples http://tfl.nu/80un
  Replies (16) Good night (1120) Bad night (5144)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.

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  (303): According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool. http://tfl.nu/eu48
  Replies (5) Good night (3148) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

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  (310): I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life. http://tfl.nu/7e69
  Replies (7) Good night (741) Bad night (2198)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.

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  (515): Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me. http://tfl.nu/qah0
  Replies (9) Good night (665) Bad night (1894)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (10) Good night (1205) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.

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  (949): We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car. http://tfl.nu/vgtj
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (595)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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  (505): I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking. http://tfl.nu/gybt
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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  (734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy
  Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tornado booty call.. dedication

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  (469): Tornado booty call.. dedication http://tfl.nu/xoaj
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.

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  (207): We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night. http://tfl.nu/i415
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.

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  (517): I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning. http://tfl.nu/kpo2
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (275)

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